


The Essence of Fear

by Ladyhawk_lhflu



Series: Alpha [5]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, Leadership, M/M, The Alpha Pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 08:40:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19128490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu
Summary: The next Wraith attack becomes a learning experience for Rodney.





	The Essence of Fear

Rodney nearly jumped out of his skin when the alarms blared. He had almost stopped waking up every time Lorne moved during his guard shift outside their door. So he might have gotten five hours of sleep this time, no four, before Atlantis's defense system detected a Wraith hive ship.

He stumbled out of bed and handed John his boots. Grabbing his clothes from one of the chairs at the end of the bed, he muttered "Powerbar." because his head was swimming. He needed to eat before he tried to think.

John handed him the bar, then sat on the floor and grabbed Rodney's sneakers to help him into them. "Radek's rerouting power. Elizabeth is securing the city. She's already shielded the gate. The hive ship is small. If we look invulnerable, it might leave us alone."

Rodney chewed on his Powerbar quietly, but nodded when John was finished. This was like any other emergency wake-up call. John helped him dress and briefed him on the situation before they headed out of their quarters. John then headed into the fray and Rodney headed to the labs to make sure John's people had the best technological back-up possible.

But this time John stopped Rodney before he reached the path to the labs. "Rodney, that way." He pointed towards the gateroom. He could see Elizabeth pacing between its open door and her office. His office.

Rodney shuddered and was tempted to transform to his wolf and run back to their quarters. "I can't. I can't risk everybody's life by being in charge now."

John squeezed his shoulder. "That's why Elizabeth is your Beta. You told her that she *had* to question any hard decision you made. To make sure you were making the right one. Go on. You know she has your back."

Rodney sighed and headed over to the office. He could see John change to his wolf so he could sprint to the command chair. John's words in their quarters didn't mean he wasn't going to prepare to fight.

Elizabeth handed Rodney a cup of coffee as he walked into the office. They quickly went over the steps that had been taken to secure the city, and Rodney checked in with Radek to make sure that nothing vital had been disturbed by the power shift.

But all of that took about twenty minutes. The hive ship wasn't even in firing range yet. So Rodney sat down heavily in the chair behind the desk. He was already exhausted, but his nerves poked at him, demanding he do something.

So he looked up at Elizabeth as she paced in front of the desk. "Now what do we do?"

"We let everyone do their jobs," she said quietly. "And hope we don't have to write any letters when it's over."

That was when Rodney realized that Elizabeth was one of the bravest people in the city. Because she not only had to trust that whatever decision she made was the right one, but also that the orders were followed in a way that worked. And even then, that might have meant she had sent someone to their death.

Elizabeth stared Rodney straight in the eye as he gaped at her. "It scares me every time I have to do this. There's nothing harder to handle than standing back and watching everyone save your ass for you. But you have to do it. Because if you interfere at the wrong time or in the wrong way, you will risk everyone's life.

"Being in charge means that you have to trust. I know you don't trust a lot of people, Rodney, so at least trust me. Your people know what they are doing, and they are willing to die to keep everyone else safe. To keep you safe. Because you will be the one who honors their sacrifice. You will be the one to make sure the mission goes on. They're trusting you to do your job. So trust me when I say that they will do theirs."

Rodney sighed heavily. "How do you handle the fear? How do you keep it from eating you alive?"

"By remembering it's part of the job too. A good leader never forgets to be scared for their people. Because if you're not, they're no longer people. They're just pawns. Fear means you care. Go ahead and show them you're worried. Just don't let it interfere with trusting them." Elizabeth wrung her hands. She wasn't as calm as she appeared.

But Rodney realized that was why she had been the leader of this mission. She could balance herself practically on a head of a pin. She fretted, but she didn't interfere unless it was necessary.

So Rodney sat her down and had her tell him where everyone was and what they were doing to prepare for the unknown. Because if it was his job to be scared, he wanted to know exactly what he was fearing. 


End file.
